Anticipation...
It's a mockery almost, that emotion. Or feeling, or whatever it is. You look forward to something for ages, thinking about how great it will be, excited about the prospect of change. And then the day comes, and it's never quite as good as you expect it to be.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not entirely let down. But somehow it's not quite as exciting as I thought.
I find myself going through life this way. I look forward to things and then they slightly let me down. Not in a major way. Just kind of. Like a sort of hollow feeling deep inside. It's wrong of course. I have a fairly good life. I love my family, my home. Love my wife more than anything. Only thing I really have a problem with is my job and my finances. But somehow, every time something comes along that is supposed to make me happy, it comes up short.
I think it's indicative of the human condition. Always journeying, never arriving, and all that. It seems like we go through life so intent on getting something more that we never enjoy it when we get it, we just look to the next thing.
But I believe that's what makes humanity so great. Always searching, never satisfied. It leads us to invent new things, go new places, think new ideas. All of course in the name of filling that gaping hole in our chest. Sad but true.
I found someone that fills at least the romantic and physical side of things for me. My wife is the most wonderful woman I could hope for. She makes me happy in ways that I could never imagine. She is the one thing that never truly lets me down, beyond simple husband/wife things. But I'm always happy to see her, always excited to talk to her, and always inspired by the sight of her. She's amazing.
Maybe that's the key. Drive and reach and explore and never be satisfied, but hold on to one solid thing, one pure reason to do what you do, and never neglect it.
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